Your palms are sweaty, your heart (and other organs) throbbing, your throat closes up whenever you're at the office - and you don't even like your job. So what could be causing these heart-attack symptoms (besides an actual heart attack)? That hidden smile your CEO's secretary sneaks you, the occasional brush as you pass each other in the hallway, that stolen hand holding in a crowded lift—that forbidden fruit of the office romance.
Though considered taboo in most offices, it's interesting to note there isn't a hard and fast rule when it comes to HR practices. “It depends on the corporate culture and nature of the business. Companies that embrace diversity will usually not have issues with them,” explains Jennifer Tay, Senior Product Manager of JobStreet.com – one of the Internet's leading job recruitment websites.
But don't mass email your colleagues, gushing about how both of you are now joined in cubicle matrimony just yet. Remember, your personal life should still remain private. And, if conflict arise at work because of said bond, it might be better to inform your superiors. In rare cases, companies may even advise employees to reveal their office relationships for accountability purposes. Here are more dos and don'ts.
How to Make It Work
- Be professional and appropriate. If you're dating your superior, respect her position and deliver your work as expected from any other employees. If she's your team member, give her the same due respect which you would normally accord to other team members.
- Compromise on how much personal space each of you wants (seeing each other in and out of the office daily can sometimes be overwhelming).
- Have an open attitude – a.k.a. thick skin. Some colleagues will enjoy teasing you two being a couple. Nasty gossip might start circulating though, so learn to filter in the good and ignore the bad.
- Be clear on what you both understand between personal and professional boundaries.
- Affirm and support each other constantly.
What to Avoid
- Big fan of traditional Asian values? Enjoy being the alpha male provider? You might find maintaining an office relationship a strain on your pride if she happens to be your superior then.
- If career progression/development is the top-most priority at this point in your life, avoid an office relationship altogether.
- Should the relationship not work out, you needn't walk out. There are better reasons to leave a job you love.
- Avoid intimate gestures, being overly touchy or arguing during any meetings. Showing affection say, during your lunch break, is your right; no one should ever make you feel that it's wrong.
- Never ever be the third party in a relationship.
