An article in the Singapore Straits Times reveals that, aside from looking for candidates with the required skills for a specific role, Singaporean employers are now also prioritising people with a demonstrated positive attitude, critical thinking abilities, and good interpersonal skills. Mastering interpersonal skills can help you work better and smarter, whether you're starting your career or gunning for a bigger role.
Interpersonal skills encompass a broad range of abilities that allow you to connect and relate more effectively – an advantage in every professional setting. Individuals can use these skills to create positive relationships – or improve existing ones – with colleagues, clients, superiors, and even family and friends.
Employers value candidates with essential interpersonal skills, including:
Techniques like patience and flexibility are crucial to the workplace. According to Singapore Business Review, employing such techniques shows respect and appreciation for other opinions; they’re considered soft skills that build trust and encourage collaboration at every step.
This comprehensive guide focuses on the importance of interpersonal skills in both professional and personal settings, and provides practical tips to develop and master them.
Interpersonal skills allow individuals to communicate effectively, work collaboratively, and resolve conflicts. But these abilities don't appear out of thin air. Like all skills, they start with “building blocks” or fundamentals you can develop.
Comprehending and explaining well can avert conflicts and misunderstandings. To enhance your communication skills, you have to practise verbal and non-verbal expression as well as active listening.
According to Mark Frank, Department of Communication chair at the University of Buffalo, learning how to read signals can help you understand and empathise with people better.
Emotional intelligence recognises, understands, and manages other people's emotions. It is critical for success at work, which is often a stressful and pressured environment. According to entrepreneur Catalin Matei's article on emotional intelligence in your career ’, it is also positively related to job performance and job satisfaction; the higher your emotional intelligence, the better you are at your job. A thriving emotional quotient relies on, but is not limited to, three things:
Conflict is natural in any setting. Getting to the root of the issue and using techniques to resolve them are critical to successful interpersonal relationships in casual and professional contexts.
Identify the root cause of the conflict:
According to Harvard Law School's Negotiation Programme, proper negotiation strategies reduce escalation, if not avoid conflict altogether. You can strengthen your conflict-resolution skills with the following steps:
It’s important to understand and manage your emotions. If you manage your emotions and respond appropriately to the emotions of others, you can be very successful interpersonally. It helps cultivate stronger relationships and harmony in communities. Communicating is a two-way street, but making the first step takes you closer to building a connection.
Working together is essential to achieving common goals. Teamwork and collaboration separate good work from substandard work. It’s also why diversity in the workplace has become so essential – it teaches you to communicate and work with people from differing backgrounds.
Team dynamics is the broad idea that everybody brings something to the table. Progress is not a single person's achievement, but is shared by the team. Good practices for improving team dynamics involve collaboration spaces. You create an environment which drives cooperation and diversity of thought. This embraces the idea that different perspectives matter.
Trust fuels teamwork. It makes people feel safe to share ideas, take risks, be honest, and perform their duties well, confident that their team members are doing the same.
Build some trust among the team through these practices:
Adaptability means embracing change, being agile, and cultivating resilience. These interpersonal skills are especially crucial in today's fast-paced labour market, where you must continuously upskill and reskill to remain relevant.
Here are some of the benefits of being adaptable:
Being adaptable may seem like a unicorn trait. According to Harvard Business Review, many managers have little faith in their staff's ability to survive the twists and turns of a rapidly evolving economy. However, most employees are eager to embrace retraining.
While some interpersonal skills, such as interpersonal flexibility and empathy, are innate or nurtured early, you can develop them, too. These transferable skills are like dormant muscles that you can flex and strengthen with time and reps.
An assertive person expresses their thoughts and feelings appropriately while still respecting other ideas. Singapore's culture of politeness means most people often prefer a soft-spoken way of conveying their emotions. However, according to a survey, 58% of Singapore's workforce are also more open to revealing their opinions to their colleagues than when they started their careers.
You can become more assertive by learning to say “no,” managing your emotions and focusing on the goal, and planning your responses. Before responding, pause and reflect. What will be affected if I say “no”? Will speaking loudly be misconstrued as harsh? Answer professionally and pragmatically.
Assertiveness and aggressiveness are not synonymous. Assertiveness is respectful, a means to stand up for yourself, and evokes a sense of diplomacy. Aggressiveness is more threatening and almost always a way to attack someone.
How to balance assertiveness with diplomacy:
Rapport largely refers to harmony among a group. This sense of camaraderie and friendship is necessary when working in pairs or teams. It creates a positive work environment, develops trust in each other, and helps employees feel more engaged.
While some people naturally gravitate towards each other, there are ways you can build rapport.
Remember when your mom taught you how to make friends when you were a kid? Find out what you have in common. Having common ground creates an instant bond as well as a conversation starter. You can do this by asking questions to see who has similar answers.
According to Forbes, mirroring is a subtle but powerful way to express empathy – and that, in itself, shows how well you understand each other's feelings.
Leadership expert Carol Kinsey Newman writes:"Mirror neurons fire when you see an emotion expressed on a team member’s face – or read it in [their] gestures or posture. You then subconsciously place yourself in the other person’s 'mental shoes' and begin to recall and experience that same emotion."
These mirror neurons allow you to experience the joys and sorrows of others and to connect with them on an emotional level.
Based on the study "Humour in Workplace Leadership: A Systematic Search Scoping Review," humour can lighten the mood, create a shared experience, and help establish a connection when applied appropriately. However, make sure not to use it offensively or disrespectfully.
Empathy is the innate ability to understand another person's emotions and imagine what they might think or feel. In recent years, researchers have recognised various forms of this interpersonal skill:
Here’s a situation where you can practise empathy: A colleague failed to pass their probation after a combination of personal and professional struggles.
A cognitive approach would be to say, “I know you are disappointed. I’m sorry this happened to you.” An emotional response would be, “I’m sad that you won’t be able to continue working here. I’ve lost a job before and I know what you’re going through.” A compassionate reaction would be more along the lines of “I know it’s tough and disappointing, but you can use this experience to make you stronger.”
Many studies confirm that empathy can make you a better manager and, ultimately, a better human being. It creates a dynamic that makes the team believe you're all in this together, enhancing collaboration, camaraderie, and rapport.
Active listening is a topic you may be familiar with by now. It is a crucial aspect of effective communication, since it implies how engaged and involved you are in the conversation.
A study in the International Journal on Transformations of Media, Journalism & Mass Communication reveals that good listening reduces conflict, increases trust, and gives you the knowledge to inspire and motivate others in the workplace or any interpersonal relationship.
Listening seems easy enough to do; however, some barriers hamper you from doing it well – and you may not even be conscious of them. For example, distractions, preconceptions, and a general lack of interest can prevent you from being committed fully to the dialogue.
These tips are similar to psychological first aid and have been adopted for counselling.
While listening implies a certain one-sidedness, feedback makes it an actual conversation. Your questions and comments show you've been there the entire time and you found their time valuable. It ensures you understand the other person's message correctly, and encourages open communication.
Non-verbal communication comprises body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and eye contact. It can convey as much, if not more, meaning than verbal skills. These cues help express emotions, attitudes, and intentions, often impacting how others understand a message without a word ever being said.
Improving non-verbal skills entails being aware of your body language and tone while interacting with others. Here are a few directions to take:
Interpersonal skills are vital in hospitality, human resources, sales, and public relations. However, you can apply them across industries. Values like leadership and openness pave the way towards a more meaningful and positive work environment.
Having a network can boost your career. It can open doors towards better career opportunities, provide critical industry information, and even lead to potential partnerships.
Most people believe networking ends with that initial introduction, but it's only half the battle. You must nurture your connection, especially if you need to call in a favour in the future. Here are some tips to strengthen your networks:
You don’t have to be a manager to be a good leader. Having sound leadership skills means being capable of motivating and guiding others, helping them realise their full potential. Leaders possess a knack for communication, emotional intelligence, and the ability to make effective decisions.
You can choose among these workplace leadership styles depending on your personality and the context. Work environments often feature a blend of three popular types to suit the diverse needs of the employees.
Developing a sense of leadership takes time and effort. However, these are the types of skills you can gain with practice.
Identifying problems and opportunities and finding practical solutions are essential in any workplace setting. From team members resigning during crucial moments to figuring out how to use the sound system during an event, you must be able to navigate your way through obstacles to reach a successful outcome.
More heads are usually better than one. Collaborative problem-solving denotes working with others to identify problems and brainstorm solutions. Getting your team in on the challenges encourages teamwork and helps train them for similar situations in the future.
Exercise collaborative problem-solving through the following:
Once you have thoroughly analysed and discussed a problem and weighed all your options as a team, you must decide on the best course of action. Group decision-making draws from various perspectives and experiences. Theoretically, it spurs solutions that are not only more considerate, but also creative and satisfactory to a wider range of people.
Feedback helps the entire organisation grow and be better. Giving your team constructive notes makes them better at work, which, in turn, benefits your work and the company. Your being equally open to assessments of your performance shows your openness and determination to be more productive.
Proper feedback helps:
Constructive criticism isn't about pointing out the bad things in a performance. Angle your comments towards improvement and goal-setting. Stay professional and non-judgmental.
Remember to say thank you for any compliment that comes your way. If you disagree about a particular note, ask the person for clarification. It's important not to become emotional and defensive. Simply explain your side concretely.
You should also always end a feedback session with a proactive stance. If the person doesn't give you specific goals for improvement, set them yourself and inform the other person of your plans.
Note, however, that giving and receiving feedback is contextual. Offering comments to a superior isn’t quite the same as sharing one with a peer. Adjust accordingly.
Cultural competence means adopting the attitudes and actions needed to effectively deal with cross-cultural situations. It means recognising the ideas and values of different racial, religious, or social groups. This applies to different professional settings.
These days, an inclusive culture can give companies a competitive edge. According to Deloitte, companies that uphold diversity, equity, and inclusion are six times more likely to innovate, anticipate change, and respond, and twice as likely to meet or exceed targets. Another Deloitte survey also reveals that Gen Z, which will soon overtake Millennials in the workforce, looks for diversity in the companies they work with.
If you want to be more culturally competent, here are some things you have to do:
Cultural awareness means being cognisant that other people have different experiences and backgrounds. For example, you know it would be insensitive to eat lavishly in front of your Muslim colleagues during the fasting periods of Ramadan. Likewise, don't try to schedule a meeting during iftar or when they're allowed to eat after sunset.
More than awareness, it's also crucial that you don't assign these differences as right or wrong. They're just different. You don't plan the company party menu with beef and tell your Hindu coworker to deal with it. Similarly, you may be a Millennial having trouble connecting with Gen X colleagues.
However, multigenerational and cross-cultural teams can thrive. Being open to these dissimilarities shows your respect and empathy and strengthens your working relationship. Besides, you’re all working towards the same goals and that should help you cooperate.
While you can use your interpersonal skills professionally and personally, some fields emphasise them more than others.
People in sales, such as sales representatives, account managers, and business development managers, must establish rapport with potential customers to build a loyal client network. They must also be patient, emotionally intelligent, and adaptable, adjusting their pitches based on the cues of their customers.
Customer service professionals, such as concierges, client relations specialists, and account coordinators, must master conflict resolution, especially when tensions escalate. They must also be empathetic and good listeners to smooth out customers' emotions.
Anyone holding a leadership role, such as managers, directors, and executives, must possess strong interpersonal skills to inspire their team and produce results. They must be able to listen to their team and clients, lead collaboration, and exhibit an excellent communication style to help discuss tasks and objectives properly.
Leaders must also be adept at solving problems, resolving conflicts, and being agile in the face of changes.
Doctors, nurses, and patient care coordinators must exercise empathy, especially when delivering bad news to patients. They must also be culturally aware and articulate, so they can relay prognoses sensitively. Due to their work, people in this field tend to be adaptable, especially in case of emergencies.
Teachers and guidance counsellors must be well-versed in building rapport with their students. To establish that connection, they must be terrific listeners and excellent communicators. Interpersonal skills help create a positive relationship and a supportive learning environment.
HR managers, recruiters, and talent development specialists must learn to handle disputes well. This field also requires strong negotiation skills (especially with hiring), communication abilities, and empathy, among other interpersonal capabilities.
PR can be a highly stressful career. You must have interpersonal flexibility, agility, and communication skills to thrive in this industry. On top of that, PR managers, communications specialists, and media relations professionals usually have a strong and well-maintained network.
Police personnel and lawyers are incredibly adaptable. They must be assertive and seasoned active listeners to formulate well-reasoned responses and strategies. Collaboration is also an essential skill in this field. For example, authorities work together to maintain order, while attorneys need rapport with their clients to defend them efficiently.
You could say that interpersonal skills are in the "soft" territory, but that doesn't mean you could do away with them. The mindset, attitude, and character that make up these abilities are the backbone of your work ethic, and help you succeed in any role.
Strong interpersonal skills can enhance communication, collaboration, and job performance, making them essential for any professional. Don't worry if you think you haven't mastered all these skills. These capabilities only improve with experience.
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